Living Life with No Regrets
By Ateba Crocker
I remember when my Grandma was diagnosed with bone cancer. She was traveling back to New Jersey to prepare for treatment with family and friends around her. I was so happy to see her and to spend time chatting with her about her life. Sitting with Grandma in her time of passing, she began to share her life. I quickly realized that she had many regrets.
A year later, my Aunt (“Auntie” we called her) was terminally ill lying in her hospital bed. Auntie was deep in thought, and I asked her, “What are you thinking about?” She said with a hollow breath, “I wish I would have danced more in life instead of being so serious!” Once again I realized that she too had regrets.
These two situations stirred a passion in me to pursue a life without any regrets, and to motivate others to do the same. Sitting in church one Sunday, I noticed in the bulletin that a young woman died of cancer at the age of 35, leaving behind two children (ages 2 and 4). I began to ask the question, “Did she have any regrets, and did she know her purpose for the time that she was here? How did she live her life?” These questions rang through my head. Being that I’m getting ready to turn 35 like her, made me ponder the big question – this time reflecting on myself, “Am I living with no regrets?” When I went home and began to think more and more on the subject, my heart began to ache. If I died today, did I do all I could to inspire those around me and those that I don’t know to pursue a life with no regrets.
Did I do everything I could to help people see that from the very beginning that God created a purpose and plan for our life? In the case of my grandmother, her purpose was to give birth to her children and to be a mom. In my Auntie’s case, her purpose was to be a huge support for her family. For the young woman, her purpose was to give birth to two beautiful children and to love her husband. Three women when faced with death all had a purpose for their lives – two not knowing clearly their purpose, and one operating fully in it. The older woman lived life half living, while the younger lived full and understood her purpose as a mom, which was evident in her involvement with MOPS (mothers of preschoolers). My heart skipped a beat because at that moment in reflecting on their lives, I found mine! At that same moment, I understood my purpose! It was to inspire women to live with no regrets by pursuing their purpose. When I speak of purpose, it can be in the form of vocation, home ministry or answering a call to end social issues. Purpose comes in many shapes and forms.
Reflection questions for discovering purpose:
1. What did you dream of doing when you were a little girl?
2. Are you still doing it? Is it fulfilling?
3. If you didn’t pursue it, why did you let it go?
4. Do you find yourself thinking about the “what ifs” sometime -- (What if I would have pursued my dream, and where would I be today?”
5. What do you have a passion for – meaning what social issue or event in the past year has really impacted you or connected with you emotionally?
6. What drives/motivates you to succeed?
Once you have answered all of these questions, reflect on them for a couple of days. Then do some research to see what social issue you can advocate or what career area you can pursue to become fulfilled. Once you understand what it is – then pursue it. If you are having trouble answering these questions or trying to narrow it down – or don’t know how to pursue your purpose, then e-mail me at: ateba@rescuedwomen.com
Scripture reference:
2 Corinthians 9:7
Everyone should do what he has made up his mind to do, not with regret or being forced, because God loves anyone who gives gladly.
Take the Next Step:
Read: One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life, Authors: Kerry & Chris Shook